It seems that very often when I sit down to write here, it’s for the purpose of confession, or because I’m working through something in my own life.  Perhaps that’s just because our life should be one big, glorious confession that God is good and we are not, but He loves us just the same!  Today’s confession is how much I am failing at respecting my kids as young men.

This season is so hard because I have to let them be imperfect (even when it has negative consequences in my life).  Balance that with the fact that I am their mom and it has always been my job to train them.  So, when they don’t want to help clean the house or they do it… but with a bad attitude, do I scold them for their bad attitudes and try to keep training?  Or do I recognize that I am dealing with young men and allow them to be imperfect, knowing that I am perfectly loved though imperfect myself?  Sigh.  These may seem like simple enough questions, but in the moment when all I want is to live in an organized house and have my kids smile politely at each other!  Rrrr!

So that’s where things are at.  Nothing settled.  I’m still just as imperfect.  They are still just as imperfect.  But I get the feeling that the love that fills our hearts for one another counts for more than a clean house and a lack of attitude.  We could all be really polished on the outside and distant from each other on the inside.  But I guess we get to work through this together… the house mess AND the soul-mess.  And thank God, because I am very fortunate to have these challenges to remind me of my own dependence on Him and community and to never let me believe for one, single second that I’ve got it all figured out or have somehow attained perfection in my own life.  I can be really grateful for that!

Space
5/3/16