Last night, standing beneath a canopy of stars, I began to feel anxious. It was all silly things, like the need to help my husband fix the brake line in his truck, or the fact that it was pushing 10 p.m., Simon wasn’t home, and he had school in the morning. It was an overall, general anxious wrestling, intended to propel me racing past the moment I was in, and consume me with stress.
I knew my spirit needed tamed, so I looked up at the sky.
Stars were speckled everywhere, like an artist taking white paint and flecking it wildly over an almost-black canvas, lit up by the blazing flames from the fire pit at my back. The trees striking outline against the backdrop. All of it was so glorious! I began to think about God, the Creator of all this splendor, and imagine how His affection for each and every one of His children couldn’t even be contained if you were to try to scoop it up into all that borderless space we call “the sky”. I stood out there for an hour or so, before anyone interrupted my musings and marvelings, just gawking at all that beauty, and let it wash through the deepest parts of my soul.
It occurred to me, as I make my final preparations for whatever is going to befall us on November 3rd, that the thing that has been most impressed upon my heart to do, is not scurry to take care of any business, or to try to fix the state of the world (not that I could anyway). It is to draw near to God. To be still. To position myself at His feet.
In doing so, there is this feeling of consuming peace taking over my spirit, as wild as the nighttime sky with Mars blazing fierce, and the stars playing their orchestra, and the moon cresting the horizon to greet all the watching world, who will listen for it’s songs of majesty and bliss!
I am unraveled, but in the most magnificent way. It feels as though the molecules racing through my blood stream, pumping from heart to feet to brain to fingers, are made of the fibers of another world.
When I fail to fight against the urge to rush and take care of “business”, my days are devoured with wrestling and wearing, distraction and chaos. Yet, in the beginning of time, God spoke chaos into order. When I listen for His voice, He does it all over again, but this time with my soul!